How You Lead, Show Up & Inter-relate is a Choice

You are always at choice. Yet, too often conscious choice may be held at arm’s length, allowing you to easily slip into comfortable, but not serving, ways of being, doing and reacting. Conscious choice begins by acknowledging that you are always at choice and recognizing choices contribute to outcome.

“Being at choice” and “tuning into choice” are two parts of the “choosing consciously” process. Conscious choice begins with an awareness of your current emotions and the perspective you are holding. Deciding to capitalize on that awareness opens you to opportunities and outcomes. Here’s a true story that shows you how.

Giving assistance and receiving help wasn’t something I intended to do when I went to a yoga class recently. All that changed, however, when the yoga instructor asked us to work in pairs for partner yoga.

What! My mind raced with ways to get out of this partnering. I did not want any part of it. It’s fair to say that my attitude instantaneously shifted, allowing negativity, fear and dread to creep in.

As my partner acknowledged me, he smiled warmly. That smile triggered an internal awareness. I became aware of my emotions and reactions to them. With awareness, I was at conscious choice.

I decided to make an attitude-adjustment and adopt curiosity. Negativity, fear and dread began to melt away. The story I had told myself was morphing into a new one. Optimism about the possibilities began to emerge.

Once class ended, I reflected. My initial thoughts about partnering were wrong. Reflection helped me see it was a good experience due to conscious choice.

Here are three learning points from my experience:

  • How you leader is a choice: In my assisting role, I chose to step into servant leadership, wanting to put my partner’s needs first. I made sure he felt safe and that his needs for the experience were being met. I stepped outside my level one, attentive to where he was and what he required to go further. Treating him with respect, I inspired him to explore the edge and tread into new territory.

Lesson 1: Choosing to serve first in leadership allows the innate feelings of wanting to serve rise to the top.

  • How you show up is a choice: I recognized that my emotions and state of being were not serving. An adjustment was in order, and I chose to engage with positivity. I opened myself to being an involved, agreeable and trusting partner while letting my vulnerability and an energetic alignment seep into the partnership. I allowed to all the class could be.

Lesson 2: Choosing positivity broadens the range of thoughts and emotional responses to the experience.

  • How you inter-relate is a choice: The partnership worked because we both chose self-awareness in order to be fully present, relationship-awareness to connect to each other and situation-awareness to benefit and learn from the experience. By tapping into those three levels of awareness, we made an authentic connection as two individuals and became one with the relational system we had formed.

Lesson 3: Choosing to honor the beauty in interdependence allows for reaching out, connecting and supporting authentically and naturally.

Choice is a powerful force: who you choose to be in the moment, how you choose to show up for the experience and what you choose for inter-relating to all that’s around you. Being at choice matters, so come into awareness and choose consciously.